Hey all-
Adam and I have approached a time in Sam's life that we have been sort of dreading, but also kind of looking forward to: sleep training. Now that he is 6-months old, I am writing to seek advice from those of you who have tried it and what your experiences have been. Sam never really did well with naps, and still doesn't do well with sleeping during the day, but he used to be a super night sleeper up until about his 4-month mark......since then he has been waking up almost every hour to every two hours throughout the night. I've tried different things like changing his bedtime to earlier or later, establishing a good bedtime routine (i.e. bath, book, etc.). He just can't seem to get chilled out; constantly moving around, reaching for his feet, rolling over, and then eventually waking himself up. I'm sure that I contributed some to his bad sleeping habits (i.e. letting him fall asleep while nursing, picking him up a lot when he wakes up, bringing him into bed with us when I just can't take it anymore, etc., etc.) but I am hoping we can overcome those past mistakes and move forward to some restful nights. I am being realistic, understanding that not all babies can be effectively "sleep-trained" but still I'd like to know what you all think! I'm doing some reading as well (i.e. Ferber, Weissbluth), but I think anecdotal advice is more helpful, especially since I know all of you are very thoughtful and responsible parents. Anything you guys could share would be great!
--Stacey
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11 comments:
Both of our boys did the same thing. We also dealt with it until about 6 months. They each also regressed later and started to do the waking up thing again after about 12 months.
Both times, we sucked it up and went with the cry it out method. Which was tough because we were both sleep deprived which leads to less willpower.
But after about 2 nights, both boys began to sleep through the night. It isn't easy. But in my opinion, they needed to be able to comfort themselves and go back to sleep.
They do not seem to have any permanent emotional scars from the cry it out experience. Of course, we have the rest of their lives to change that.
Hey Stacey,
We actually tried to train Josh as early as 3 months, but he kept getting sick, so we backed off. We finally trained him for good around 6 months. The first couple nights, he cried for about an hour, then about 1/2 hour the next night, and then less and less. I think he stopped crying after about 5 nights. After we put him down, he might talk to himself for about 5-30 minutes before falling asleep. And since then, he's been sleeping from around 8PM to 6/7AM every night. He only wakes up at night if he's sick.
He also naps well, usually around 10AM-11:30AM and again from 3PM-4:30PM.
Hope that helps.
the sleeping thing is VERY VERY easy... all we did was leave caleb in his room by himself and he fell asleep very quickly.... he would sleep for 9 hours... we could scream in his ear while he was sleeping that kid would never wake up... it's really quite easy.......
oh wait a minute.......... linda still has to sorta sleep with jacob... and he's 3 yrs old now...........
so... uh.... yeah..... i have no real advice for you... :)
see you soon..........
Hi Stacy, Many congratulations on Sam, and your wedding too :) I definitely give you props on thinking ahead for Sam's sleep schedule. I randomly stumbled onto a great sleep schedule for Gus (pure ignorance and luck), but I had a slightly more difficult time with Josephine (coordinating their sleep scheds was confusing). I used weissbluth @6mo, and I took away her midnight feeding without feeling too bad. I put her down @9pm and ignored the crying around midnight...it only took 3 nights for her to learn to lull herself back to sleep. I eventually got both of them to go down @8pm, and that's where I'm going to stay. Hopefully until middle school. Best of luck!
ah, sleep. the one thing i have read, thought, prayed, and fretted about most as a mother. sorry to say that even after 2, i have no solid advice to give. but will share my experience with our girls (and am jealous of those of you who have the ideal sleepers!). both elisabeth and emily slept through the night early on. elisabeth stopped around 9months - i think she was starting to be more mobile and we moved so she just would not stay in her crib. emily stopped when she was starting to flip over. we tried crying it out with both with limited success. elisabeth just will cry HARD forever, so i couldn't handle it. dave or i slept with her until she was about 2 1/2. but now she sleeps great. emily took to the crying it out and was much better...until we moved. and she started teething. and she started getting her bug bites and would be itchy at night. so i am currently waking up A LOT with her and am pretty much in the same boat with you, stacey, even now at 11 months.
i did really like the weissbluth book though. i really do believe sleep begets sleep. when i focused on getting elisabeth and emily to take good naps with whatever means i had to, they seemed to sleep better at night. they were horrible nappers initially, too. but like i said, we slept with elisabeth every night for a LONG time and i still wake up with emily, so can't say you should follow my advice. i do feel for you though. it's a confusing topic, and i've found myself pulled in all sorts of directions philosophically and emotionally over this one. i hope you find something that works for you and sam. he's so cute! can you post a recent picture? it's funny, i actually still remember a night with you, ed, and linda where we talked about the episode on "mad about you" where they were struggling with the ferber method. do you remember that? let us know how things go.
hey stacey...this is linda on ed's account. as ed mentioned, caleb was the ideal...slept well from the beginning, even taking long naps through all sorts of noise. jacob...hum...i still have to lie down with him although tonight I told him i had dishes to do and clean the house. i just told him to save my space :) beside him. then i left the room thinking that he was going to follow me out, but after about 10 mins, i checked on him and he was out. prob was tired out from his swim lesson today and all the water he swallowed. but when he was little, you know that we tried the crying thing, but he cried until he threw up. we got tired of cleaning him up almost every night, hence he still sleeps with me. as for noah...we put him down and he'll go to sleep after talking/playing for a few minutes. he cries only once in a while, but it doesn't last for more than 15mins. looks like your little sam is a jacob...just wait for your next one...you'll have a little noah :) see ya soon, can wait to hug and kiss little sam. when you come down here, you take a break...i will sleep with him and you sleep with jacob :)
Oh man, I feel much empathy for all mothers with the babies who don't fall within the "normal" sleeping habits...all I know is that it's so dependent on the baby's temperment and personality, AND grace :)
Linda, haha! (not really, but you know what I mean) Gus was a baby/toddler/preschooler with the SHORTEST gag reflex of anybody I can think of, and he was such a stinker at getting us to appease him super-quickly, b/c he'd know we'd do anything to head off the vomiting. We'd religiously carry around a plastic cup with lid to catch...whatever. Boy, I understand the throwing up thing. Hope you and Ed are doing well!
Betty
Sorry about the many afterthoughts, but I had to add this last experience of mine. I was a bad non-compliant mom who did not obey the AMA, APA, blah blah blah recommendations to put my babies on their backs to sleep. The 2nd night at home after coming home from the hospital, I knew that my baby was waking himself way earlier than necessary by his "nap jerks." I think the belly-down position really did help my own kids get into the habit of sounder and longer-lasting sleep. Ok, signing out.
Yooman...something to look forward to..
Stace, it sounds like alot of us have gone through what you're going through. I hope you are able to figure out the right method for Sam. We ended up doing the crying it out method. I think the hardest thing is to let your kid scream his head off in the middle of the night, but they have to stop eventually, right? The good thing is when they become screaming toddlers, you're used to it and in a weird way, you learn to deal with it better.
Just know that we're all behind you and whether our kid sleeps well or not has nothing to do how good of a parent we are. Here's hoping for some peaceful nights.
two words: Jack Daniels
Wow. Thank you all so much for your advice and also for sharing your experiences. I knew I could count on all of you for your honesty and sincerity. You have no idea how encouraged I feel after reading your comments. I'm actually kind of surprised to find out that most of you did in fact deal with some type of sleep "issue" with your kids. I guess I didn't realize that it was so common. Yeah Sandra, I actually do remember our conversation regarding that "Mad About You" episode......how naive I was then, thinking it would be no big deal. I wish I could re-watch that episode now. In any case, I will definitely post our "experience" once we try to sleep train our little man, which will be very soon. We are exhausted from his nightly awakenings. Will keep you all posted.........
p.s. Dave Yoo: Initially I laughed at your comment regarding Jack Daniels, but then I thought it might work as a last resort. After all, both Adam and I are pharmacists........Ha ha! KIDDING!
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